1. Obtain a Hyundai Excel. It's best if it has about 150k miles or more on it when you obtain it, but if not, you can just drive it until that's the case.

2. Drive around until you start to hear a loud, low thrumming sound coming from the back.

3. Say to yourself, (and this part is very important) "Hmm, maybe I should have my muffler looked at."

4. Start driving towards your house.

5. When you hear a loud, consistent clanging sound, it means that your muffler has partly fallen off and that passers-by are noticing the shower of sparks flying out from the back of your car on the road. The noise your car is emanating at this point is good enough to draw their attention to this spectacle.

6. Continue driving until you get home.

7. The next day, fasten the muffler back onto the body your car with a wire hanger.

8. If you dragged the muffler long enough the day before, chances are there's not really much left holding it onto your car besides the wire hanger, so start the car, and drive it until the rest of the attatchemnts fall off. You'll start to hear a much uglier scraping sound when this happens, and passers by are seeing an even cooler light show than they did yesterday. At this point the only thing holding your muffler to the car should be the wire hanger, and maybe a kind of rubbery thing that can be easily cut with a knife. Stop driving immediately.

9. Remove the muffler from underneath your car, and put it in your trunk.

You've now no longer got a small, ordinary economy car..you've got a race car! Vroom Vroom!!

* Be sure to drive around with the windows open, so you don't die of carbon monoxide poisoning while stopped at a red light.

[Note: I have no idea why I wrote this.]